The Civil War has been on my mind..
The only brush I really use was frustrating me, so I painted the majority of this piece using a BUTTER KNIFE. Revolutionary!
(Of course, a little finger painting is a given with each painting. It’s no fun unless I’m making a mess.)
The concept for “The Veil” began in a dream in 1995. Everyone in the dream was masked by skin amalgamated veils, creating sub-human, faceless, soulless creatures. The idea never left me, and at the time I didn’t realize why. Upon reflection it summed up a great deal of my life.
One of my earliest memories was in the basement of an old brick church. The fluorescent light flickered across the white stone walls, as we sat at round table with our Sunday school teacher. “We are bad, we don’t deserve anything, Jesus died for us because we are so bad that we can’t save ourselves”. I watched the skin over her face melting together into one fluent, soft piece, with faint contours where indention’s should be. Sheer fabric seemed to ooze from her skin and affix itself across her face until it was part of her. No one else seemed to be aware of the transformation before my eyes and she never hesitated speaking.
We grew up engrossed in very strict, Bible believing, Fundamental Baptist churches, where every action was analyzed by a crushingly heavy book of rules. Life was a crash course on how to conceal everything other than what was completely acceptable through man’s view of God. There was no transparency. There were no imperfections.. Only solid, impermeable conformity. In the deepest, most secret parts of my soul I hid myself. I became like the woman who’s face melted into one fluent, soft piece. No one could see me hidden there, accept for the faint shell of a person that bore no life. Then deep within me hid every evil transgression committed against or by me, until I couldn’t find them anymore.
When I started painting “The Veil”, I began with the intentions to convey something dark and disturbing, like the veiled people in my dreams as a child. What came out was something more hope-filled and beautiful.
When I finished, I was disappointed to find that I’d painted over the subhuman with morphed contours where a face should be. Instead, the veil was pressed closely against a piercing face as the wind was ripping it away. Perhaps in the future I’ll revisit my dream with the intended result, but for now here is what came out.
They’re coming. I can feel it. Heavy, dark energy squeezing the breath from me, surrounding and filling every space. Its not time yet. Not before the roaring, screeching sound of it brushing my skin. Electricity and energy thrills me, immobilizing every nerve in my body. It wants to have me.. Something as cold as ice builds inside of my body, gathering, growing, moving upwards and burning all the way. I am free.
Ameiliael 